What We Do: Histories Of The Children

At the time children are received by Arms of Love, they all share one thing in common: they have been separated from their parents and they have no long-term living situation.

The children received into our children's homes come from a wide range of backgrounds. Some were completely orphaned, others abandoned. In some cases, a child lost one parent, and years later was abandoned by the other. Some of our children ran away from home, or were removed from their home, as a result of significant neglect or abuse. A significant number of the girls were victims of rape or incest; other children children were beaten by those who were supposed to love and care for them. Many of the children spent years living and sleeping on the streets; most were no longer in school and supported themselves by stealing, begging or working (e.g., gathering seashells, washing car windows, selling baked bread on street corners). Most of the children were severely abused physically or sexually, either in their home, living on the streets, or both. Oftentimes, the children were receiving temporary care from a relative or a "good Samaritan," but that person was unable or unwilling to care for them on a long-term basis.

Some of our children's homes have a more narrow focus. For example, the Victory Center in Morelia, Mexico, receives street girls 8-15 years of age, who have been victims of prostitution or other forms of physical and sexual abuse. All of the children living at the Arms of Love Children's Home in Dakar, Senegal, are biologically orphaned with both parents deceased, most likely of AIDS.

The following are just a few of the stories of the children who have been received by Arms of Love:

A Survivor

Maylene was 9 years old when she first came to Arms of Love. When she was younger, her mother became mentally deranged and killed her other two children. Maylene's mother was detained in prison, where she remains to this day. None of Maylene's other relatives have been identified or located.

After her mother was imprisoned for murder, Maylene was taken in by a neighbor in Tuburan, Cebu, whose daughter then brought her to Bohol to be their house helper. Her new "employer" compelled her to perform chores that were not normal for a child of her young age. Then the husband began abusing her physically.

When Maylene was admitted to a crisis intervention center, she had marks and burns on her body caused by physical abuse. She had run away due to this mistreatment, and was found in a wharf trying to board a boat headed for another island. Maylene was subsequently received by the Arms of Love Children's Home on Bohol in the Philippines.

  

Abused on the Streets

The following article appeared in a local Managua newspaper on August 5, 2003. The article had the heading, “Mother Forces Minor to Bring Home 80 Cordobas Daily or She Mistreats Her”

An eleven-year-old minor is brutally beaten by her mother Brenda Maradiaga and her aunt Adilia Altamirano, just because she refuses to continue begging for money at the public transit buses, according to the girl and another aunt, Jamileth Barrios, who had given the minor shelter at her home. Brenda Maradiaga and Adilia Altamirano are the promoters of the minor’s begging. They have about 11 children dedicated to begging on the streets, and they do not care for them – a cousin of the minor was hit by a bus recently and had to have five surgical operations, but they never cared. As soon as he came out of the hospital, they sent him with the rest of the children back to the streets to beg for money.

Jamileth Barrios said that about 4 p.m. yesterday, Brenda and Adilia came to her house, located at the Laureano Mairena neighborhood, to force her to give back the child, but because the child refused, her mother started to hit her with her fists.

The child explained that for the past five years, she has been receiving mistreatment from her mother, just because she does not bring home the daily 80 cordobas she demands from her. She even has hit her with electric wires, and on several occasions put burning coals on the floor and made her dance on them.

“She hits me with everything she has at hand, with wires, belts and sticks, and if not, she puts burning coal on the floor and makes me walk over them; once she applied to my arm a burning iron because I could not bring the money she demanded from me” said the girl. The minor further explained that if she does not collect the specified amount, the mother does not give her any food, not even water to calm her thirst.

The girl that suffers this drama had a traffic accident last year, but according to her aunt Jamileth Barrios, her mother did not take her to the doctor, but instead, took advantage of the situation so the girl, with her open wounds, could collect more money on the street.

According to Barrios, “this is what motivated the girl to escape from home, because she could not endure any more mistreatment from her mother and preferred to come and live with me.”

The girl written of in this article was subsequently received by the Arms of Love Children's Home, where she continues to live today.

   

Stealing to Provide for Eight Siblings

The Morala children were abandoned by their father years ago and their mother became mentally ill and unable to care for them. Their parents had nine children and survived on a meager income derived from a simple lifestyle as farmers. After their father left and their mother came unable to provide for them, the three older boys, Dominador, Jude and Janil -- who were between 10 and 14 years old -- began stealing scrap iron and selling it in the city order to generate income to feed their five younger siblings. Meanwhile, the five youngest children, who were between 1 and 9 years old, began begging for food on the streets.

Dominador, Jude and Janil were detained at the city jail on charges of theft. The municipality would not release the boys until someone was willing to receive them and care for them. When we became aware of their situation, the three brothers were received by the Arms of Love Children’s Home in the Philippines. Arms of Love then also received the five younger children in order to keep the siblings together. The mother was subsequently admitted to a mental hospital for treatment.

  
 

The Story of Ruben & Rommel

Ruben was one of the first children received into the Arms of Love Children's Home in the Philippines. Ruben was 12 years old at the time, and had an older sister, Desiree (14), and three younger siblings, Mary Jane (10), Rommel (8), and Winfred (6).

That same year, the mother also decided to abandon her five children in favor of moving to Manila to seek employment. The mother left her children in the care of a relative. The oldest sibling, Desiree, a 14-year-old girl, found work as a house keeper in another home, and was "paid" by being provided meals, school supplies, and other personal necessities.

Ruben, the second-oldest sibling, was 11 years old when his mother abandoned him. That year, a neighbor accused him of stealing a pair of shoes. The government found him guilty of the theft and sent him to a rehabilitation center in Cebu (a neighboring island) for six months. After that time the government sent him back to his relatives on Bohol.

The children's relatives decided that they could not support all four of the younger siblings, because they already had seven children of their own. Therefore, they decided to take only take two of the children, Mary Jane and Wilfred. The other two children, Ruben and Rommel, began living and sleeping on the streets. Although newly "rehabilitated," Ruben returned to his old life of stealing because "nobody will care for us and nobody will give us food and the easiest way to earn money is to steal." During the nighttime, the children slept in the church, rice mills, market stalls, or any other place where they became tired. Today, both children are living at the new Arms of Love Children's Home on Bohol. 

 

A Precious Girl in Nicaragua

On December 18, 2002, the Arms of Love Children’s Home in Managua received a seven-year-old girl, Teresa (not her real name), on a temporary, emergency basis.

Teresa has a mother, stepfather, and two older sisters who are no longer living at home. Both of Teresa's older sisters were molested by their stepfather, beginning when they were seven or eight years old. The stepfather was convicted of molesting the oldest girl and was sentenced to three years in jail, but was subsequently set free and resumed living with the girls’ mother and daughters, at which time the oldest girl left home. The stepfather then began regularly raping the second-oldest sister beginning at the age of eleven, telling her that all fathers do this with their daughters. She brought charges at one point, but withdrew them when he threatened to kill her and her mother. At the age of fourteen, she had a baby of her own -- probably by the stepfather -- and left home to move in with a male companion.

When their younger sister, Teresa, exhibited certain unusual medical conditions, the two older sisters took the initiative to bring Teresa to the hospital. There – at the age of seven – she was diagnosed with two venereal diseases. The stepfather’s pattern of sexual molestation had found a new victim.  Teresa’s case was reported to the authorities, and she was placed in the protective custody and care of the Arms of Love Children's Home, where she began receiving ongoing medical treatment. Despite the mother’s ongoing relationship with the stepfather for many, many years – while knowing that he was molesting her children – she nevertheless insisted that Teresa be returned to her care, and we had to fight to retain custody of her.

Her first night at the children’s home, Teresa cried a lot, hid herself in a corner, and went to bed only when the staff assured her that she would not be alone any more, that no one was going to hurt her again, and that she had a bed all to herself where she would not be touched or molested. But in the months that followed, Teresa was happy most of the time, showing sadness only on Christmas and New Year’s Eve as she missed her family. She began calling her houseparents “grandpa” and “grandma” and interacted well with the other girls in the home.

Five months later, we received the following update on Teresa:

Teresa is a very open, active, and behaved girl. She sometimes has a tendency to try and manipulate the other girls, but she is very cooperative when corrected. She may be the most well-adjusted girl we have in the home. She shows easily that she wants love and attention and appreciates it when received. She no longer mentions her family, is very enthusiastic, and very visibly likes her present environment. In school, however, she is having difficulties keeping pace with the rest of her class, and will probably be held back a grade so as to have a better foundation before advancing. She has a very generous attitude, she is always giving her things away to the other girls, even if she has just received them. But then she wants them back, and this is a source of friction among her and the other girls.