Featured Story

I Remember Your Smile
Third Home Opens in the Philippines While Children Continue to Progress
March / April 2004

In December 2003, I had the opportunity to visit the Arms of Love Children's Home in the Philippines and spend time with the children and the staff there. Seeing the progress of the children -- and experiencing their joy and happiness -- is undoubtedly the most rewarding part of this ministry, which renders the many challenges worthwhile. Below, a few thoughts from my recent trip, and on the inside, a brief update on the status of the ministry on Bohol, updates on many of the children, and many new photos.

When I left the Philippines at the end of my trip last December, all of the children presented me with thank you letters expressing their gratitude for the blessings and care that they are receiving through Arms of Love. But there were four words that stood out the most. In two of the letters, written by Mary Gel and Mary Mie, one of the things the girls wrote was,

I remember your smile.

The staff at the children's home shared that the girls had told them the same thing -- that the one thing about me they would remember the most, the thing that touched them the most -- was my smile.

There were many other words from the children that touched my heart as well. Mary Gel also wrote that "because of Arms of Love my dreams and my future are already secured ... without you as God's instrument, I am not here." Sarah Jane wrote, "you made our lives colorful and useful." Rey Ryan shared, "Thank you for loving me and caring for me. I love you." All of the children shared similar sentiments: feelings of gratitude and of love arising out of our love toward them; happiness stemming from my visit; sorrow that I had to leave.

Perhaps the most succinct and powerful message was that from a little boy named Marjon who wrote, "Thank you for loving us." And yet, the words that stand out the most are those from Mary Gel and Mary Mie,

I remember your smile.

I wonder why those words were so meaningful to me.

Perhaps because it shows that the children recognize that which we want to provide them with the most: love. There is so much commicated in a smile, but at its essence, a genuine smile is something that communicates love, tenderness, joy, and caring. That is what the children need more than anything, and when they recognize that, it is the thing that they treasure and remember the most.

Perhaps I treasured their words because it often felt like smiling was the only way I could communicate with them. Knowing something about all of them but not being close to any of them, it is often difficult for me to know exactly what to say a lot of the time. That uneasiness is compounded by the fact that some of thechildren don't converse well in English. So what do I do? I smile a lot! And in the smiles that I get back, I feel the same warmth and tenderness that I am trying to express to them.

Perhaps it struck me because it is the same thing that I remember the most about them. When every child's face comes into my mind, it is the smile that I remember, the smile that touches my heart. Smiles of laughter. Smiles while playing. Smiles of recognition. Smiles that are just meant to say "thank you."

I remember your smile.

What would this world be like if each of us could say this about the other?

The other week I was on a business trip to Washington D.C., arguing a case before the U.S. Court of Appeal for the Federal Circuit. After my oral argument, I was walking across town, mentally criticizing myself for things I might have done differently, thinking about difficulties and challenges at home, and probably stressing about the countless tasks that lay ahead with a trial in July.

As I walked through a park near my firm's office, a homeless man stopped me and said, "Things are going to to get better. You need to smile." Somewhere between the children's home in the Philippines and my "regular job" in D.C., I had lost that smile.

Isn't it amazing how quickly we can forget what is really important in life and lose our God-given smile? The smile that should be never far from our face, if we are continually feeling God's presence and joy in our lives?

Some day, when I pass away, there is one thing, more than anything, that I hope people will say when they think of me:

I remember his smile.

Robert J. Benson

Third Home Opens On Bohol

The Arms of Love ministry has undergone a number of changes over the past year. John and Juli Mory, a couple originally from Southern California, helped start the children's home back in 2000 and oversaw its development over the next several years. In November 2003, the Morys moved back to Southern California with their family, which began a season of transition for the ministry on Bohol.

All of the staff of the children's home continued to work with Arms of Love after the Morys' departure, which has made for a relatively seamless transition. Since last November, however, a number of new developments have occurred. For example, since John Mory had been serving as the senior pastor of the church affiliated with the children's home, the Vineyard Christian Fellowship of Tagbilaran City, the senior houseparent at the Arms of Love Children's Home, Bonie Colarte, was called by the congregation to serve as the new senior pastor of the church. The second houseparent couple resigned due to unrelated reasons, but have since been replaced by the pastor of another local church and his wife.

In April, the third "home" within the children's home complex was opened to children. Arms of Love hired a third houseparent couple to staff the home, and the first several children moved in shortly thereafter. Since we have been receiving a greater number of boys than girls in the Philippines, the third home will be a boys' home, giving us two boys' homes and one girls' home.

The new housefather in the third home has been serving as the security guard at the Arms of Love property for many years. Accordingly, when he and his wife moved out of the guard house (which is located on the property next to the children's home), that space freed up, so we moved the children's library and the computer lab from the space in the third home to the former guard's apartment. The social worker has also moved her office into the same space, right next to the children's home, rather than having an office at the church building in Tagbilaran City.

The church building in Tagbilaran has been recently expanded, and with that expansion, the Morys' departure, and the move of the social worker's office, additional space opened up that is now being used as a "transition home" for new children received by Arms of Love. Accordingly, we saved some money by closing the prior transition home, "Charlie's House," which was a few doors down from the church.

We have also initiated some new programs for the children living at the children's home. For example, in prior years, all of the children participated in a self-defense class on Saturday mornings. At the recommendation of the staff, we have changed that requirement, so that children can decide on their own whether they want to take self-defense on Saturdays or participate in a different sport, such as swimming or basketball.

We are also planning a weekend children's camp for sometime later this year, and are taking the children on monthly field trips or "outings." This year, the children's outings will include the Chocolate Hills, the bird sanctuary and bee farm, Punta Cruz Bay, the Bohol Museum, Mag-aso Falls, Baclayon, Guiwanon Beach, Cebu, Badiang Spring, and Sagbayan Peak. All of the children are also continuing in their education at one of the best private schools on the island, Grace Christian School.

The children are continuing to participate in the care of the animals and crops on the farm next to the children's home, which we hope will begin to turn a profit later this year. Any profits generated by the farm will benefit the children's home.

We are honored and excited to see our programs in the Philippines continuing to develop in such incredible ways. Thank you for your support, which makes these programs possible and which is an infinite blessing in the lives of these children.

A Ministry of Sowing

Over the years, many people have asked the question, “How did you choose each of the countries that you are working in?” Others have posed the narrower question, “Would it not be more efficient to develop larger projects in fewer countries? Aren’t you spreading your resources too thin by trying to be in so many different places?”

These are legitimate questions that I have often pondered. We commenced the Arms of Love ministry with a basic vision as to the type of children’s homes we were called to establish and the values we were to employ. However, we did not have any pre-existing agenda with respect to countries or either the size or quantity of projects. Instead, we have endeavored to simply stay in the flow of what God is doing. Accordingly, a lot can be discerned about our calling by taking a look at two questions. How has God been leading us? And what has been accomplished as a result?

Looking at our history, it is evident that God has called Arms of Love to be a ministry of sowing. The Scripture says that some are called to “sow,” others to “reap.” In our case, God is using Arms of Love in a very unique way: to establish new children’s homes in accordance with the vision that God has given to us; to seed those projects and assist in their initial development; to share what God is doing with others; and to then facilitate the involvement of other organizations, churches and individuals to further the future growth of the projects. Arms of Love starts new works, sows vision, mobilizes resources, and facilitates involvement. But others ultimately become involved alongside Arms of Love and may eventually have significant ownership and involvement in the further development and growth of the projects.

Starting new projects is a unique calling. Early in our ministry, I was speaking with a significant donor who gave a one-time grant to help establish the ministry to street girls in Mexico. That donor did not give any further grants, because he preferred to give grants to organizations that already had a 10-15 year track record of working in a particular country. His reasoning was that organizations with a long track record represent a “low risk” investment.

Statistically, that might be true. But if everyone followed that criteria, new works would never be started. If you assume that, from time to time, God will call new people to start fresh works, perhaps with a new or different vision than what has been done previously in a particular area, then someone must be called to accomplish the task of establishing those new works.

Our first project, in Nicaragua, offers an example of this phenomenon. In January 1998, faced with an empty plot of land on the outskirts of Managua, we committed the first $50,000 that was needed for the development of that project. Arms of Love subsequently provided about 70% of the capital that was required to build the first school building, a dining room facility, and a complex of four children’s homes. In the years that followed, Arms of Love persevered through many challenges. These challenges included problems with the local leadership, problems with the staff, problems with the government, legal problems … it seemed as it there was hardly a conceivable problem that we didn’t face. But we pressed ahead, continuing to adapt, to change, to improve. Ultimately, the leadership changed, the staff evolved, the relationship with the government changed, new physical sites were developed – and our children’s home in Managua became an example for others to follow.

Over the past six months – more than four years after we started the project – the ministry in Nicaragua is starting to grow by leaps and bounds. For example, the number of short-term teams visiting the children’s home in Nicaragua has increased dramatically. As a result of a new couple from the Vineyard church in Vancouver, Washington, joining our staff in Nicaragua – Doug and Julie Effinger – Arms of Love became connected with a new group of donors, who helped us purchase the girls’ home in the Las Palmas community of Nicaragua. The same donors have committed to helping us establishing many other new homes in Nicaragua over the next five years. A third site is now opening in Managua, a home for our boys in the same Las Palmas community where the girls have been residing. A new La Vina church in Managua has been growing and is now connecting with the Arms of Love children’s home. And a new partnership of Vineyard churches in the United States, which is focusing on church planting in Nicaragua, has led to new awareness of the Arms of Love ministry in Nicaragua.

Looking at all of this new involvement, and the growth in the Nicaragua ministry that will result therefrom, a trend can be seen: while Arms of Love was principally involved in starting the children’s home ministry in Nicaragua, and has exclusively supported the ministry for many years, the future growth of the ministry in Nicaragua is likely to stem from a much broader partnership involving many different churches, organizations, foundations and individuals who have been drawn to the work that God initiated through Arms of Love. A similar pattern is emerging in other countries where we are working.

It is also interesting to observe that every project Arms of Love has started is unique in its geographical area. In Managua, Arms of Love operates the only Christian children’s home that provides long-term residential care based on a family model. The same is true on the island of Bohol, in the Philippines. In Morelia, Mexico, the Victory Center is the only ministry that focuses on the special needs of adolescent street girls. And in Senegal, the Arms of Love Children’s Home is the first Christian children’s home or orphanage in the country.

With this context in mind, the fact that God has led Arms of Love to start numerous small works in various countries makes sense. God will, from time to time, call people to start new works based on a fresh vision. Arms of Love is called to accomplish that purpose. And it is quite likely that God will call others to come alongside to help grow the works that we start.

Implementing Our Values

Part of the vision that God has given to us is to emphasize quality over quantity. With each child God brings to us, we evaluate that child’s specific emotional, psychological, educational, spiritual and physical needs, and then we do all that we can to meet those needs. Our objective in doing this is to fully reflect God’s love, compassion and mercy into their lives, that they might one day be not only self-sufficient, but that the cycles of abuse and poverty will be broken for subsequent generations and that the children may grow up to be leaders in their local churches, professions, and communities.

Establishing a new project that provides this high standard of care takes a great deal of time and patience. First, we spend a lot of time building relationships with the people we partner with. On some occasions, we have felt it necessary to part ways with our initial connections and develop new relationships. It is vitally important that the people we partner with be completely trustworthy and that they truly share our heart and vision. That can only be established through relationship, and relationships take time.

It is also a significant challenge to find the right staff in each country. Christian houseparents, for example, who have a strong faith, a good marriage, a genuine love for children, and a real commitment to ministry can be very difficult. In Nicaragua, there are so many broken families that strong couples are hard to find. In Senegal, it is difficult to find couples that don’t already have a lot of children of their own. Professional staff, such as Christian psychologists and social workers, can also be hard to find. And over time, as some staff do not work out well, other more qualified staff tend to take their place.

So newly established programs take a long time to develop and gel. New staff will start by caring for a small group of children and gain experience over time. New children are added to the program gradually, so we can assure ourselves at each step of the way, that the staff are providing the standard of care that we envision for each of the children. Accordingly, developing new programs and assuring that they are of the requisite quality takes time. So we build slowly, ensuring that a strong foundation is in place each step of the way before expanding further.

There are other factors that can also impact the growth of a project. But the bottom line is that we always strive to observe what God is doing through the Arms of Love ministry and then stay in the midst of that flow. So long as God calls us to start new works in various countries -- and provides the resources needed to accomplish the work that He calls us to accomplish -- we will continue to follow His direction. And with each project, we will grow it slowly and deliberately, to ensure that it reflects the vision that God has called us to: permanently changing the direction of each child's life, breaking the cycles of abuse and poverty, all to the glory of God.

Robert J. Benson